Friday, September 4, 2009

~ Whither Revelations? ~



I used to believe that college would be some kind of epic turning point in my life; where all would become clear, and I would suddenly know myself and better understand what it is to live and be independent. I was never exactly sure how this otherworldly revelation would come about, but I was fairly certain that it would, nevertheless.
...


But, despite all these grand ideas of enlightenment that most definitely HAVE NOT yet come to pass: 

Right now, all I can think about is how relieved I am to have just survived the first week!


やったあ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I DID IT!!!


=D


Wow: One week down and approximately one billion to go.
And yet I feel so accomplished, it's ridiculous.


Over the past week, I have been challenged to overcome many obstacles. For example, on the very first day of Opening Days at Willamette, I was placed into a group of people whom I did not know and was actually forced to… *gasp*... Socialize!


Imagine that.


Oh, but that's not all: I was also very grievously tested by an excruciatingly painful game of miniature golf... The ways of which I don't believe I will ever be able to fully master, nor comprehend in the slightest. 


Opening Days, while encouraging me to engage with others whom I would not normally wish to associate very much longer than was absolutely necessary, also allowed me to meet a few more with whom I was much more desirous of acquaintance. So, in other words, I have indeed met a good number of people who really do speak their minds, enjoy a good deal of common sense, and also happen to respect themselves enough to not feel as if they absolutely need to blend in with everybody else. Put another way, these new people could be described as those I actually seem to relate to. 


Shocking, I know, this college life.


In many ways, the spirit of high school lives on in this social environment; the holier than thou airs, blithering chitchat, and the painfully self-conscious behavior are a few choice examples. However, it is fundamentally different in the way it seems to bolster the individual. Each of us are able to make our own choices: Who we talk to, who we study with, who we dance with, who we booze with, who we sleep with, or, more importantly-- who we don't. Now, we always had these choices, regardless of the time or place. But now, alone, as we are in this great new world of unfamiliarity and independence, we are left to our own devices to make of this experience what we will and to discover the rest on our own.


So, now what?


Now, as I venture down the long road of self-discovery, I realize not all revelations that come to be known are necessarily life changing as I had once supposed. Certainly, they do not simply fall from the sky to be gathered in wicker baskets for use on the next rainy day. The most important of those that did actually decide to show, however, were so thrilling as to include: Discovering the innermost secret hiding places of my mini-fridge, as well as untangling the long-unsolved mystery of the all too quickly disappearing cream cheese… Hah! So much for monumental breakthroughs! I still haven’t even come close to finding the solutions to the two mysteries I mentioned, much less managed to figure out the meaning of life!


Amid all of this aimless musing, however, I can also tell you of my rather less exciting, though equally frustrating technical problems.


Running around by day, and typing away by night, only to find that the one program she had ever purchased for her Mac turns out to be exactly the wrong one... Yes, indeed. Not a single printer on campus would allow me to print neither my first paper, nor my little page of discussion questions. Characteristic of my luck, both were, of course, due on the very day of the mentioned malfunctions.


Naturally.


And so, Reader, please duly note the following: Never, ever in your life even consider buying "iWork". It will only bring you an endless amount of pain and suffering. Or, if you're like me and in your first week of college, a good deal less energy and a great deal more PMS. 
(Roommates beware!!! D:)
So, here I am, now fully armed with Microsoft Word, printer, and cable: I am ready to embark on the endless journey that shall be my higher education homework experience.


The joy of it all astounds me.


*Ahem* 


Despite the decidedly snarky tone of the previous broken paragraphs, I am, contrary to popular belief, surviving fairly well on my own. Really, I am. College life insofar as the first week is stressful, but tempered with a good portion of mindless enjoyment and social networking. Just over the past week I have found myself in more awkward social situations than I can account for nearly the whole of last year, as well as had the opportunity to receive a few of my very first disappointments here at Willamette. Thankfully, none of these have been earth shattering, just plain disappointing in the general scheme of things.


So, over the last seven days, I have…

… Wandered aimlessly through general stores with nothing really in need of buying, nearly missed the beginning of class, received less than an A on a paper, decided at least a few stereotypes must have some sort of truth to them, realized you do not need to be just like your roommate in order to get along, learned that despite the lack of space-- your creativity is never limited, began to grasp the fact that the only thing that can ever truly hold you back is yourself, figured out that you’re only as great as you let yourself be, recognized that rainy weather & tea are two things that will always be in want, discovered that music can be the fuel needed for any good day, observed that being yourself is a much less common practice than one might suppose, came to the conclusion that speaking your mind and telling the truth are never mistakes; regardless of the popularity they might cost you, accepted the fact that professors with lovely accents are just more enjoyable to listen to, found that when you care for another in need that the good intention never fails to come back to you full circle, discovered that making and finding friends is not nearly so difficult as might be previously thought, learned that the rewards earned from adventuring and putting yourself out there always outweigh the costs, and have been relieved to find that although I may have left my home, feelings of security, and all that’s familiar behind, the powers of imagination, my own free will, and a little courage are all I need to keep moving forward… And work towards finding whatever it is I’m looking for. 


So, for now, until next week: Goodnight.


Yours, sincerely.


~ Me <3